Beacon News December 18th 2002


 

Visiting Rotarians:

None

 

Guests:

Lynette Decker (Paul Chatfield)

Senator Joseph Robach (Speaker) 

Rosa’s Sister- Rosa Smith-Montanaro

Jerry Helfer - Greg Halstead

 

Birthdays:

Gil Cooper, Jim Gaudet, and Joe Darweesh – Club sang.

 

Anniversaries:

None

 

Fining with Paul:

Jim Gaudet – Missed meeting

Joe Darweesh – Missed meeting, trip

Andy Velard – Trip to Saratoga Springs

Rosa Smith-Montanaro – Trip

Greg Halstead – Snowmobiling, Denver trip, missed children’s Xmas party.

Dave Kotesky – Denver trip

Bob Potter – Missed meeting, missed children’s Xmas party.

Gil Cooper – Missed meeting

Don Riley and Dave Nagel – Shooting Bambies (deer hunting)

Brad Shea – Santa Barbara trip, missed meeting

Richard Strauss – missed meetings

Chuck Scarpulla – New car, missed meeting

Paul Chatfield – Advertising his firm (shirt logo) at a meeting.

Linda Deutsch – Missed meeting

Kim Putman – Gambling in Vegas

 

Announcements:

Board Election today.  Candidates were Sue Edgett, Doug DeVey, Jim Gaudet, Stephen Robbins, and Al Schneier) The three elected were Sue Edgett, Al Schneier, and Doug DeVey.  Tom Shay was unanimously elected as Vice President.

 

Last week’s Children’s Christmas party was a great success.  The event was covered by the Greece Post and was highlighted on TV Chan 13’s “Bright spot” section.  District 7120 Governor Don Alhart was extremely impressed and intends on writing up the party in the District newsletter.  Thanks to all who participated in making this an outstanding event.

 

The annual Christmas party was attended by 67 Rotarians and guests.  This was one of the smaller turnouts but all who attended agreed it was a great time.  Frank Ardino’s band “Power Company” was a big hit.  Special thanks to Keith Rockcastle for providing the Poinsettias for the event.

 

Carlotta Scarpa, our exchange student, has rotated to her next guest family.  She is now staying with Kim Putman and family.  Thanks to all who provided transportation for Carlotta.  Anyone who can help out further in giving Carlotta rides to functions and events should contact Mike Taylor.

 

Dianne Berardicurti points out that to date we only have one advertisement for the Ziti Dinner Program.  Last year the program contributed $8,000 to the club.  The form for advertising is available from Dianne or can be downloaded from the club web page at http://home.rochester.rr.com/greecerotary

 

Don Riley is looking for the 5, 6, 7, and 8? year olds to help sell raffle tickets at the Ziti Dinner.  The kids always have a blast and raise lots of money for the club through the ticket sales.

 

Today’s program and Speakers:

NY State Senator Joe Robach spoke to the club.  He thanked the Greece community for supporting him in the past election.  Senator Robach expressed that the economy is the Senates primary concern in the upcoming year.   He cited a 2 billion dollar shortfall in the 90 billion dollar budget.  September 11th’s terrorist acts cost the loss of businesses and an exodus of workers from the state, reducing tax revenues.  Senator Robach stated that several avenues are being considered to cover the shortfall, including, selling bonds against the 20 billion dollar Tobacco Settlement monies and raising tuition at SUNY schools.  Senator Robach was glad that the state has so far been able to meet it’s previous commitments to the community and cited the Fast Ferry and the Soccer Stadium projects. Senator Robach’s office on West Ridge Road is in the former Cadet Cleaners space.  Mark McCann is his chief of staff and a good point of contact for Greece residents. 

 

50/50 – Doug DeVey

 

ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

Editor- My apologies in advance to the Hugh Outterson, Jim Todd, and Larry Waye and any other ministers in our club, but the following was just too good to pass up, especially since it is the Holidays!



Subject: The Pastor's Ass

A pastor wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase one and enter it in the races.

However at the local auction, the going price for a horse was so high that he ended up buying a donkey instead.

He figured that since he had it, he might as well go ahead and enter it in the races. To his surprise, the donkey came in third.

The next day the local paper carried this headline:

PASTOR'S ASS SHOWS

The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and this time it won.

The local paper read:

PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for ten dollars.

The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.00

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.

 



Subject: even God enjoys a good laugh....

 There are 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
 1. He called everyone "brother"
 2. He liked Gospel
 3. He couldn't get a fair trial

 But then there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
 1. He went into His Father's business.
 2. He lived at home until he was 33.
 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.

 However, there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
 1. He talked with his hands.
 2. He had wine with every meal.
 3. He used olive oil.

 Yet, there are 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian:
 1. He never cut his hair.
 2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
 3. He started a new religion.

 There are also 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
 1. He never got married.
 2. He was always telling stories
 3. He loved green pastures.

 But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 excellent proofs that Jesus was a woman:
 1. He had to feed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was no food.
 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
 3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do.
 



Subject: Bishop

 

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.

The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process.
After observing several applicants demonstrate their skills, he had decided to call it a day when an armless man approached him and announced that he was
there to apply for the bell ringer's job.

The bishop was incredulous. "You have no arms!"

"No matter," said the man. "Observe!" And he began striking the bells with his face, producing a beautiful melody on the carillon. The bishop listened in astonishment; convinced he had finally found a replacement for Quasimodo.

But suddenly, rushing forward to strike a bell, the armless man tripped and plunged headlong out of the belfry window to his death in the street below.

The stunned bishop rushed to his side. When he reached the street, a crowd had gathered around the fallen figure, drawn by the beautiful music they had heard only moments before.

As they silently parted to let the bishop through, one of them asked, "Bishop, who was this man?".

"I don't know his name," the bishop sadly replied, "but his face rings a bell"

WAIT! WAIT! There's more .. . ..

The following day, despite the sadness that weighed heavily on his heart due to the unfortunate death of the armless campanologist, the bishop continued his interviews for the bell ringer of Notre Dame.

The first man to approach him said, "Your Excellency, I am the twin brother of the poor armless wretch that fell to his death from this very belfry yesterday. I pray that you honor his life by allowing me to replace him in this duty."
 

The bishop agreed to give the man an audition. The armless man's brother stooped, picked up a mallet and struck the bells as beautifully as his brother. But as he finished, he groaned, clutched at his chest, twirled around and died on the spot.

Two monks, hearing the bishop's cries of grief at this second tragedy, rushed up the stairs to his side.

"What has happened? Who is this man?" the first monk asked breathlessly.

"I don't know his name," sighed the distraught bishop, but..."

( . . . Wait for it . . .. )

( .. . . It's worth it . . ..)

"But he's a dead ringer for his brother."

 

Meeting Make-Up schedule:

http://home.rochester.rr.com/greecerotary/makeup.htm

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